Republican's Huge Boehner About Torture

To sum up Boehner and his spokeman Michael Steel (via HuffPost):

Boehner: Yes its torture, but letting people know we broke a host of laws and trampled on human rights is a political decision, not a legal or ethical one. I'm sure you've read our talking points? Now that terrorists know for sure no backsies that we use waterboarding, they can practice drowning and stay one watery step ahead of us! (Innocent people will just have to suck it).

Reporter: Hey we all know this will never be prosecuted, but shouldn't we at least know what crimes won't be prosecuted.

Boehner: OMG 9/11 9/11 9/11. Plus these techniques toootally worked scouts honor (tru patriots won't read the shitload of studies that prove otherwise).

Michael Steel: Right honorable Senator Lord Boehner used the word torture cause them there dirty liberals use it to, but he didn't mean it!

And there's the funny thing about Republicans and Democrats.
When Republicans say we don't torture, they mean "uh that stuff is a-ok".
When Democrats say we don't torture, they actually mean it.